Summary
In the trailer forApple TV+‘sFountain of Youth, we see John Krasinski and Natalie Portman tracking Hollywood’s favorite MacGuffin across five continents in a globetrotting adventure reminiscent ofNational Treasure,The Da Vinci Code, Indiana Jones,and any of the sequel films in their franchises.
Perhaps audiences will associate Guy Ritchie’sFountain of Youthwith otherrecently released blockbusters, such asUncharted,Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning,or, to a slightly lesser extent, Guy Ritchie’s own 2023 filmOperation Fortune,which was similarly a star-studded caper. The difference is it had something theFountain of Youthdoesn’t seem to possess at all: Guy Ritchie’s patented slick direction. It’s baffling, especially given that Guy Ritchie did indeed direct the upcoming Apple TV+ film.
The Trailer For Guy Ritchie’sFountain Of YouthIs As Generic As It Can Get
In the film, Krasinski and Portman search for the legendary Fountain of Youth, which supposedly actually exists here. The trailer shows them aligning with a couple of other explorers who are both geniuses, which we know becauseNatalie Portmanasks, “Which genius will explain to me why I am here?” All the lines delivered are empty calorie exposition dumps for the sake of information and not pizzazz, which is so jarring for a Guy Ritchie film.
For example, we know Portman and Krasinski are siblings in the film because Krasinski calls her up and says, “Just thought a brother would want to see his sister.” Similarly, we only know the Fountain of Youth is hidden and potentially perilous to track down because Stanley Tucci enters the frame and says, “There’s a reason the Fountain is hidden.”
Also, and maybe most pressingly, everyone in the trailer talks so darn slowly. Since when does anyone ina Guy Ritchie filmnot speak with the rapid pace of his impulsive quick cuts? It’s all so confusing while also being horribly spelled out and done before. It’s a mystery adventure with almost no intrigue due to its relentless statement of plot structure and the almost cheeky level of triteness in its execution. To be fair, hearing Krasinski line-read “Five continents, dozens of cultures, over thousands of years” with a swelling, sweeping score in the background is as compelling as that trope always has been and will be forever.
Fountain Of YouthCould Use More Of Guy Ritchie’s Signature Style
Guy Ritchie is known for crafting some of the coolest, slickest filmsthe action genrehas provided over the past few decades. His next film looks like the most lukewarm, derivative fare that streaming services have historically had to offer. Straight-to-streaming is essentially straight-to-DVD these days—with admittedly higher budgeting—andFountain of Youthis Exhibit A as to why that notion is held as truth.
It’s incredibly odd to see a Guy Ritchie film without fast-talking quick cuts, gangsters shooting up a storm, or even just hyper-stylized music, characters, or any observable style whatsoever.
Ritchie’s an auteur whose work should be identifiable within seconds of viewing. The entire two-minute trailer could have been directed by anyone, and it’s entirely unsatisfying to watch, especially given the trailer’s emphasis on his involvement.
Imagine Wes Anderson without symmetrical framing,David Fincherwithout tense and moody palettes, or Stanley Kubrick without unnatural perspectives. After so long without witnessing any of these calling cards, one would begin to wonder if the director was responsible for the work at all.
TheFountain Of YouthTrailer Propels A Worrying Trend Among Streaming Projects
The movie’s probably going to be mediocre at best and downright bad at worst. This is the problem with streaming platforms paying established directors to produce exclusive content (i.e., Jon Watts’s clichédWolfson Apple TV+ and The Russo Brothers’disastrousThe Electric Stateon Netflix). These swept-aside films do nothing but dilute the filmmaker’s brand while vaunting the credentials of the platform with no real substance behind it. It’s the cardinal sin of content in the streaming age.
From the vapid exposition dump to the whatever cinematography, this movie seems like more content for the sake of content, with only Guy Ritchie’s name to bolster it. Just his name alone applies, as the scenes presented in the trailer look like they could have been directed by just some guy - with no Ritchie to be found.
It’s not as if Ritchie has lost his touch, either.Paramount+’s new Ritchie-directed dramaMobLandis currently certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes with a respectable 78% critic score. The ensemble show stars Tom Hardy, Helen Mirren, and Pierce Brosnan, all of whom are at the top of their game for a production with a rhythmic heartbeat and unique fingerprint - elements that are usually characteristic of a Guy Ritchie film.
